From death to life, from fear to bliss.

This feeling of not being awake, I was always tired, exhausted, with a tendency toward depression. Nobody knew because on the outside I was shining my light and always kept my vibes high. But inside it was dark, muddy, cold, a feeling as if there was a huge black hole inside in my heart.

What was it?

Just surfing and extreme things brought me into bliss. I got more and more honest with myself, that I am hiding something. The more I studied about trauma healing and sensitive yoga for trauma, the more I realized that all my symptoms were caused by all the accidents I attracted in my life. Post-traumatic stress syndrome, welcome to my life.

Yessss, the moment I accepted it, that moment, all my new healers started coming into my life. The shift of accepting and bringing light on the shadow helped me to step into this healing journey. So, what about plant medicine... for years all my friend , the whole community was doing ceremonies. My judgmental mind was always against it. The sivananda yogi in me told me, "we don't take drugs to stay pure in our sattvic lifestyle."

Until I met Lauren. This angel soul shared her plant medicine experience in such a beautiful, honest, authentic, and true way, that I felt called to join. After a year working with her and listening to her experiences I was still in a bit of fear before the ceremony. What will happen if I can't breath, if my heart starts to run like crazy again, if I lose it? I wrote all of my near-death experiences and weird body stuff to the ceremony organizer to make sure I'll survive. Hah, this moment I got the message, I can do it, my heart was jumping full of bliss, a feeling of coming home.

Why this? Okay, I signed up. I experienced the most beautiful healing journey that night. Honesty, I experienced the most beautiful night of my life. It was all together, the feeling of being part of a family and tribe. I can't describe in words what happened that night - we danced, we sang, we sent out prayers for the world and for us. Raising the awareness of connecting to the elements. wow.